Interview with a Social Vampire
How the creator of the emerging "Best Night Ever" nightlife brand had his own "Worst Night Ever"!
Club Promoter, Ron Vito Eugene Monroe Walker Wallucci IV. (Or Ron Dub for short) At Louis Vuitton NYC Fashion pop-up
(This interview was originally transcribed on January 19, 2018 from the London’s Bridge blog)
I've never been one to shy away from the rare and often ambiguous. The different & the aptly depraved. The potentially misunderstood. I actually prefer that in hopes of tapping into the fiery spark that might one day influence the un-imagined (and still imagined) urban striver. When I meet someone for the first time I'm not looking to make them into an "interest" piece or random "pet project" that I can help advertise for ravenous self-indulgent purposes. Because as a freelancer writer transitioning to blogging, I have come to the realization that everybody can be transfigured into a thought commodity, I've been meaning to interview this person for a long time but I had to wait until he paid his Metro PCS bill. After, I had square away overdue payments with Tanisha at Metro PCS on Knickerbocker Ave in Brooklyn. My interview was on its way! So let me introduce you to the one and only, Ron Vito Eugene Monroe Walker Wallucci IV, or simply Gigolo Ron or Ron for short. In this interview, we discuss lucrative ways of survival in the American gig economy, personal club experiences, and senior citizens too!
JAMAL: So Ron, tell me about yourself?
RON: I'm half Black and half Italian baby. Born in Harlem. Raised in Brooklyn. I'm a Club Promoter. Moxy in Times Square NYC on Thursdays. STK Midtown on Fridays and Lavo also in Midtown Manhattan on Saturdays. You need table reservations? Bottle service? I'm the man for you to come see! Call and text me at (646) 956-8204.
JAMAL: Where do you promote on Sundays?
RON: Church.
JAMAL: Church Sundays at Haus Nightclub?
RON: Nah, I go to an actual church. I like to sit in the pews and listen to my pastor speak about the good lord as I fake put money in the collection plate, afterwards I then sit and pray for my eventual come-up and a date with an AARP cover model.
JAMAL: Is promoting clubs your only lucrative side-hustle right now?
RON: No, I also work as a stripper and a gigolo.
JAMAL: How does one become a Gigolo? I take it one doesn't just put their resume out there on Indeed and sit back and wait for the offers to pile up. Right?
RON: Nah, it's more about having a good street game. Going to events and looking for the right women to talk to. That's where my research comes in.
JAMAL: Research?
RON: Yeah, I watch pick up artists DVD and eat calzones sometimes too.
JAMAL: Interesting. So how much does it cost (asking for a friend) for one night with you?
RON: Pricing depends on how much she got. And the wifi code to her hotel so I can text her back because if I haven't paid my Metro PCS bill, I am most likely going to use my phone messaging app to reach her.
JAMAL: What do you do on these Gigolo excursions for the most part? Is it just about sex? Is there an element of romanticism involved?
RON: Yeah, it's never really about the sex with me. It's about mutual companionship. Doing the simple things. Real romantic things... Like taking me shopping, buying me lunch, and paying my Metro PCS bill.
JAMAL: So going back to your club promoting background, What is the best way for somebody (like myself) who has a hard time getting into most (if not all) NYC nightclubs? Is there a magic formula or secret recipe for getting past the fire-breathing doormen and their guest-list wielding minions?
RON: Yeah, first off Jamal stop sneaking those suspicious bottles in the club and stealing actual bottles from the bar and putting them in your Peacoat, beloved! Also, pay $5,000 at the door and I'll make sure to take care of you.
JAMAL: Look, that was real Aquafina in my coat pocket! And that bottle of Veuve Cliquot must of fell into my jacket lining somehow. Strange, right?
RON: Why does your Aquafina always taste like Bombay Sapphire?
JAMAL: $5,000? Isn't that a little excessive bro? That's like a deposit for a Hell's Kitchen apartment right now!
RON: That's the price to pay for a good time! Being at a table with watered-down vodka bottles with sparklers. The joy of being around sexy depressed women in hooker heels who have an affinity for free alcohol so they can drown their misery of their tedious office job and expensive non-rent stabilized (sic) apartment that's like the size of a bathroom stall.
JAMAL: You are a self-described pick-up artist or PUA. Tell me what do you say to entice women to want to be with you?
RON: I just keep it real with them. I don't side-step anything. I generally start off with "Tell me again. I could be your lover? Or I can be your friend?" I leave them with options.
JAMAL: Keeping it real like ripping off the lyrics to an Usher song and regurgitating it back to them?
RON: Yup, classic song. With a lot of deep messages in there.
JAMAL: So, circling back to club stuff, what are your thoughts on name-dropping? I find that its always super-hard to not sound like a pretentious moron when dropping names outside the club door. So how do you get the proper name out, without coming off as a douche bottom-feeder who is extremely desperate? Is it possible to finesse it in a way that would cushion the blow of ridicule and public shame if the name game plan fails?
RON: I don't think about that much. I actually don't like to think much at all. I keep my eyes on the prize.
JAMAL: Prize being?
RON: My come up! My meal ticket. A woman to take care of me for the rest of my days while I clean out her retirement fund
JAMAL: What type of women do you prefer?
RON: I like older and mature women. They got social security and medicare! They are well established and generally own their home. All they want is a little affection and for me to change their Depends once in a while. Small price to pay for success.
JAMAL: Sounds kinky.
RON: Yeah it sure is. You haven't lived until you have been with a liver-spotted octogenarian with stretch marks and c-section scars.
JAMAL: You seem to wear alot of hats professionally. You also a wearer of hats personally too. What is your fascination with hats? Why so many of them?
RON: I like my hats because its an extension of myself. When I put on my hat I immediately go from 5'8 to 5'9 real quick. It's apart of my whole persona. A way to let the world know I'm cooler than you! Not just anyone can achieve this level of cool overnight... It takes much practice and dedication. It starts with my morning man-scaping routines; a special blend of free Sephora samples and ends with downloading the right "How to sext a girl?" app.
JAMAL: You mention being a stripper earlier, tell me what is the wildest story you have from being on the road as a male exotic dancer?
RON: I went to this Christofle Paris event at Bergdorf Goodman a few years back and met this beautiful woman. She was 60 years old which is a little young for my tastes but I was feeling her style anyway. We had got the talking and she said she needed a private dancer for her own personal entertainment. I get to her apartment in Soho to start the show. I go to use her bathroom to prepare for our session. I start slathering myself with baby oil and begin to change into my American flag g-string, along with my favorite black fedora cocked to the side. I hear a knock at the bathroom door. The woman's husband is at the door! He had these dead eyes and gave me a stone-faced look. Like he was staring deep into my dirty Gigolo soul... As I prepare to get into my fighting stance (because I used to be an amateur boxer), I put my dukes up. Then I get ready to wait for him to make that first move. When he inches towards me I begin to worry. He was about 6'4 or 6'5, so he had that long arm reach but I could still knock his ass out regardless. He extends his hands like he's about to choke me out. I start to jab, then kick him in the shins then knock him to the tiled bathroom floor. At this point, I'm just trying to keep him to the ground but I had lathered myself earlier in so much baby oil earlier he kept slipping through my clutches. Because I forgot to grease up my calves, I manage to get him in a UFC style leg lock and keep him on the floor, choking him out. My G-string comes undone, and little Ron (aka my large penis) manages to dot him in his left eye. All of a sudden the woman rushes to the ground and starts screaming. Once, it seems like I finally got him under control, I release him out of my leg lock. The woman starts to rush to the floor to check on her husband. As he starts to regain consciousness, she helps him up. I watch as he reaches for something black from his back pocket. I don't know if it's a knife or what. He takes out a piece of paper and hands it to me.
JAMAL: What was on this piece of paper?
RON: It was a check for $1,500 dollars! The woman looks at me with a smile and says "Oh, we do this all of the time sweetie, my husband loves to watch! As well as participate! sometimes too" Her husband then says, "He definitely was one of the best ones we had here yet! So fun and interactive. The leg lock and penis in my eye part was a stroke of creative genius. " He hands me his card, shakes my hand, and then that was it.
JAMAL: Moral of the story. Old rich white people in Soho are next level weird.
RON: Absolutely beloved! You already know.
JAMAL: Before I close out our interview, do you want to end this interview with some sage wisdom and advice?
RON: Stay cute. Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. Also, Stay on the lookout for my events promotions company/website called Best Night Ever! Coming soon this summer! And most importantly don't ever ever EVER fuck up your come-up! Don't go out like Meek Mill!
JAMAL: It's been a real pleasure man. If I ever get that urge to prey on women with extremely low self-esteem, I'll make sure to give you a ring! Good news, I think that Tanisha at Metro PCS may extend your phone service for another month too.
RON: Thanks, brother.
JAMAL: No problem. Thanks for giving me your time and insight. I'm sure your phone will be ringing off the hook after this interview!